Thursday, February 10, 2011

On the topic of Babies

I'm thirty three and childless.  For some reason those two things in combination incite feelings that perhaps I wouldn't make a good mother.  Yes, you may be thinking, oh that's not true and in fact I would agree with you.  It is not my opinion, it is those around me.  I have no doubts that parenthood is challenging, but I get this impression that once you have babies you adopt the mantra that it is so hard that others couldn't possibly do what they do.  And I am by no means suggesting that I think it would be a piece of cake, but I'd like to know that you can imagine that perhaps I too would be a good parent.
I expect that when one becomes a parent their whole world changes, and they can't remember what it was like to be single and childless.  They don't remember a time without diapers and bottles and waking up in the middle of the night to that unknown sound.  There are many decisions and choices made as parents.  There's no spur of the moment weekend trips to Virginia Beach.  Everything has to be planned.  Everything is much more complicated.  And therefore those without babies can't even begin to imagine what that could be like.  But they forget....they too were at one point in their life-childless.  And they managed.  Please give me the same encouragement you received before you were with child.
And now that my soapbox has been properly used, I'd like to talk about where we went Monday night.  We went to an informational foster parent meeting.  I absolutely have hopes one day of having babies of my own, but the bf got me thinking about this.  We're several months from taking a child into our home (lots of training and inspections.)  And the intent of the foster care system is to remove children from unstable homes and place them in a safe and loving place with the hopes of returning them to an improved home.  What a fantastic service to our community to help a child.  A child in need. 
But I haven't told many people because I'm afraid of what they will say.  I'm afraid I won't get the support I have given for years. 
Of course there are alternative reasons for exploring this avenue.  First, what an amazing way to dip your toes into parenting.  My partner and I can learn a little at a time about the type of parents we want to be.  And then someday after we have our own two babies and I'm too old to have the five babies I want we can adopt those that can't go home.  We can make our home theirs.

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