On the topic of Babies

I'm thirty three and childless.  For some reason those two things in combination incite feelings that perhaps I wouldn't make a good mother.  Yes, you may be thinking, oh that's not true and in fact I would agree with you.  It is not my opinion, it is those around me.  I have no doubts that parenthood is challenging, but I get this impression that once you have babies you adopt the mantra that it is so hard that others couldn't possibly do what they do.  And I am by no means suggesting that I think it would be a piece of cake, but I'd like to know that you can imagine that perhaps I too would be a good parent.
I expect that when one becomes a parent their whole world changes, and they can't remember what it was like to be single and childless.  They don't remember a time without diapers and bottles and waking up in the middle of the night to that unknown sound.  There are many decisions and choices made as parents.  There's no spur of the moment weekend trips to Virginia Beach.  Everything has to be planned.  Everything is much more complicated.  And therefore those without babies can't even begin to imagine what that could be like.  But they forget....they too were at one point in their life-childless.  And they managed.  Please give me the same encouragement you received before you were with child.
And now that my soapbox has been properly used, I'd like to talk about where we went Monday night.  We went to an informational foster parent meeting.  I absolutely have hopes one day of having babies of my own, but the bf got me thinking about this.  We're several months from taking a child into our home (lots of training and inspections.)  And the intent of the foster care system is to remove children from unstable homes and place them in a safe and loving place with the hopes of returning them to an improved home.  What a fantastic service to our community to help a child.  A child in need. 
But I haven't told many people because I'm afraid of what they will say.  I'm afraid I won't get the support I have given for years. 
Of course there are alternative reasons for exploring this avenue.  First, what an amazing way to dip your toes into parenting.  My partner and I can learn a little at a time about the type of parents we want to be.  And then someday after we have our own two babies and I'm too old to have the five babies I want we can adopt those that can't go home.  We can make our home theirs.

The timing of things

Do you ever wonder how you got so far off the tracks?  My bestus friend in the whole world became my friend in ninth grade.  We were inseparable.  We both had grand visions of our lives ahead of us.  We both went to college.  He met the love of his life and shortly after college was engaged and buying a house.  I spent the year following college graduation in South Korea.  It was a year of adventure but it soon brought me home to get a local job.  I took a couple of graduate level courses while working and realized I wasn't done with school just yet.  My bff found his dream job and started saving for retirement.  I was in his wedding almost ten years ago and the paths since then couldn't have been more different.
He and his wife became public school teachers and started to travel the world on cruises.  They bought professional people's vehicles and did home renovations.  They made friendships with people who lived near them.
I lived on graduate student wages and bought the cheapest car I could find and convinced myself I would drive it till it fell apart (I'm still driving it today...knock on wood.)  I took on part time jobs and lived mostly paycheck to paycheck.  I was single for a long time then became the serial monogamist moving from one long term relationship to the next.  I didn't find my "career" until about three years ago and even then I was resistant.  I finally bought a house eighteen months ago.  I've had to say goodbye to so many wonderful people because my lifestyle demanded a lot of movement. 
About five years ago, my friend started talking about having a family.  Like most of his decisions I wished that he would wait a little longer.  Not because I thought he wasn't ready, but because I wasn't ready.  I was so far behind him I thought I would never catch up.
Today he sent pictures of his two beautiful kids.  They will be two and four this year, and they will break your hearts and ovaries.  They are precious.  And once again, a peek into my friend's life leaves me wondering if I took the right path.  If I had followed him, I could have had all of that.