And then things changed and now I only seem to pin recipes (perhaps the occasional organization idea or foster parenting quote.) I began to wonder why that was. Why had I given up all of those things that I used to love like gardening, entertaining, and crafting? The sad reality was that I stopped having the time to do those things. Well, the time combined with the energy. The ironic part was that two years ago I started on a weight loss journey that has successfully reduced my being by one hundred and forty pounds. With that reduction, I have a lot more energy and find that I'm physically able to do more (like the seventeen trips up and down stairs to do laundry doesn't exhaust me like it used to.) But it's the seventeen loads of laundry I do every week or the three meals a day plus snack that I make or the cleaning up accidents or putting kids in time out that just seems to consume all of my time and energy. Sure, there may be time at the end of the day for me, but the me at the end of the day just wants to be a blob on the couch.
I will be the first to admit that I just had no idea how all consuming child raising can be. And sure, I'll throw in the obligatory, they are totally worth it, hardest job you'll ever love, blah blah blah, comment here. And sure it's true they are special and wonderful and give you so much joy. So while the statement is truthful, it's also incredibly misleading. Because you won't love or enjoy the tenth poopy diaper of the day, or cleaning the puke off one kid because they were playing a "who can burp louder" game that went south real fast, or when you find yourself setting the timer because "we've been sitting at the table for an hour already, please finish your food!" or when you can't leave the house and are already late because someone can't find the hat they want to wear even though there is a pile of eighty hats scattered throughout the foyer.
So what is the one thing that could qualify as a basic need filler but might give me some sort of joy? Cooking and baking. They need to eat, right. Yes, in fact, all the time. So that is what I do to make peace with this new life I have. I cook. I look for new and exciting recipes that my family will enjoy. (I am incredibly lucky enough to be a part of a lunch group for my work, and we take turns cooking for each other so I can even explore recipes that are less than kid friendly.) Some recipes are far more successful than others. Some are a lot of fun to make. Some the kids help with. Some are nice surprises. Some are healthy. Some are far from it. But they all allow me to craft.
My challenge to myself this month has been to identify an ingredient in the pantry/freezer that has been sticking around a little too long. It has been quite an adventure. I think the family thinks so too....but in the end, we all need to find something that makes us happy. And this makes me happy.
